


the way you’re lifting me up (feels like heaven)

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, bellamy is mad, clarke is struggling, one big angst fest, russel isn’t happy either, sanctum is on lockdown
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 16:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19834171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: Clarke is a fighter, she was never one to give up easily. However, with Josephine heavy on her brain (quite literally) to remind her that they only have a few hours left until their demise—it was becoming more difficult to stay in control to stay awake to find Gabriel.Bellamy was the one with the plan, he was going to get his friends out of Sanctum and lead them into the forest to find Clarke and Gabriel. It’s a surprise to him when Russel says that there’s a lockdown, because his wife was missing and hadn’t returned from the Eliguis ship.OR, Bellamy doesn’t know Clarke is alive until she’s brought back to Sanctum unconscious in the arms of Gabriel. He doesn’t know if she’ll make it





	the way you’re lifting me up (feels like heaven)

**Author's Note:**

> Part one is a go!! I’m hopefully uploading the second part after the episode airs tonight, (ONE MORE UNTIL BOB’S EPISODE!) and this is just a short little story so please enjoy!

Clarke tried to keep her eyes on the rough terrain, although the ache in the back of her head was getting harder to ignore. 

Her hands tightened around the handles of the bike, urging herself to go faster and stay more alert as she searches for Gabriel’s settlement. It couldn’t be far, not when his followers had traveled from the cave to visit him just a few hours ago. 

“I know I called Bellamy an idiot,” It was Josephine speaking, her voice echoing in Clarke’s mind. “But you might be up there with him.” 

“Are you gonna shut up?,” Clarke asks through gritted teeth, biting back a groan when the bike runs over a log and she jumps on the seat. Her skull was beginning to pound, creating the worst headache she’s ever had. She tries to swerve from a narrow path in between two trees, but she fails. 

The front wheel makes contact first and she lurched forward before falling off the bike, and getting trapped with the weight for a few seconds. 

“Are _you_ gonna let me drive?,” Clarke wished that she didn’t have to open her eyes that closed with impact, because then she would see Josephine clear as day in front of her. Unfortunately, it’s something she has to do and the other blonde is taunting her with hands on her hips. “We don’t have time, and it’s a foolish idea to think we’re gonna find Gabriel in less than two hours.” 

“Two hours?” Clarke asks, a shiver running up her spine as she pushes the bike off her body and attempts to stand on shaky legs. Her head was spinning with pressure and a cluster of thoughts of how this would end. Of how her life would end, after everything she’s been through. Josephine nods, “It’s more than enough time.” 

“I don’t want to force the control back into my hands, Clarke.” 

Clarke snaps her helmet back in place and says, “You said it yourself earlier, our minds are binding together. You can’t even _try_ to take my mind back.” 

“I’m gonna enjoy living in a different body after this is all over,” Josephine begins to say with light annoyance in her voice. She watched as Clarke got situated on the bike again, reviving the engine and she’s off into the depth of the woods again. “It’ll be a fun memory to look back on.” 

Clarke couldn’t let that happen. 

She had to try her hardest to make sure that she’s alive at the end of this, that she didn’t _fight_ this hard for nothing. 

“ _Oso gonplei nou ste odon_ “ She says quietly, a reminder that her best efforts would be enough. She would return to her friends, to Bellamy, to Madi. It would be worth it. 

“That’s right, Clarke.” Josephine’s body had disappeared from sight, but it’s just as present in her mind. “Your fight isn’t over, but soon it will be.” The crushing realization of Josephine knowing what she said, could only mean one thing. She was learning the language, she was digging into Clarke’s thoughts and memories just as she had done to Josephine in an instant. “But, mine? It’s just beginning.” 

The bike comes to a stop, Clarke feeling like she’s suffocating. She felt no air going into her lungs as her body started to flail around, chest caving with harsh breaths. She unsnapped the helmet to try and relieve pressure, gasping in pain when the back of her neck is burning against her skin. It was Josephine, she was trying to take over—she couldn’t stop it. 

Their minds were too connected, and Clarke cried out knowing that it was her last chance: her helmet thrown to the ground, the left side of her head is throbbing with intense poking and she reaches up to wipe under her nose to reveal blood. 

She was bleeding. 

Clarke had payed enough attention to symptoms of Josephine having seizures after they found eachother in the mindspace for the first time, knowing it started like this. 

Her knees buckle, and she lands in the grass. “Gabriel!,” She attempts to call out for him, wishing he was closer. While her voice fragile and cracked, she spoke again “ _Gabriel_.” Her hands keep her upright, holding onto any grip of reality she could manage. With her mind going blank, her vision filling with black spots because of the pain and sunshine in her eyes, she gasps one last time. 

“Help me.” She pleads, before her body loses strength and she falls backwards and that’s when everything goes dark. 

This was how she was gonna die. 

It’s over. _Clarke Griffin is dead_. 

* * *

“You’re an idiot,” Murphy gestured with his hands, shaking his head in disbelief as he locked eyes with Bellamy. “You think it was smart to just punch one of Russel’s guards because we can’t leave?” 

It was rational thinking, but Bellamy was anything else. He was anxious, leg bouncing under the table where his friends had gathered around him. He tries to think of the positive, maybe Clarke had made it safely to Gabriel and she was waiting for him to get her. It wasn’t _healthy_ for him to think—

He replied sharply, dismissing his previous thought. “It’s not our fault that Simone was held at gunpoint.” 

“It doesn’t change the fact that _our_ people had guns in her face.” 

“You know what Murphy?” Bellamy argued, not wanting to listen to the reason why he thinks the blame belonged to him. He was the traitor this whole time, siding with Josephine when she was in his friend’s body. His voice was low, “It’s takes a lot of nerve to say that after what you did. After what you’ve done to Clarke.” 

The other man swallows thickly, “I was saving my own ass, sorry to disappoint you when I’m the one who wants to survive.” 

Bellamy’s stare is cold, his eyes quickly flashing red. 

“I didn’t think you’d turn your back on a friend, on someone who’s _your_ people too.” It struck a nerve in Murphy, who clenched his jaw in reply. Bellamy doesn’t stop there, urging the man to just admit the truth. They were all hurting, as he couldn’t even, _didn’t_ even want to imagine a life without Clarke. “Just thought I’d remind you since you care about the majority and not just yourself anymore.”

”Well, I’m here with you right now Bellamy so can we put that in the past?” 

He thinks back to when he first found out that Murphy had sided with Josephine. 

Bellamy was so angry, so filled with hurt because one of his best friends (it was debatable, for the moment) would chose to betray him. Everyone knew how important Clarke was to him, and his alliance with the woman who has taken over her body would only put him at a set back. After everything the blonde had done for him, saving his life and his girlfriend on multiple occasions—it was painful to know that Murphy would throw it away for a chance to live forever. 

It was overrated anyways. The thought of killing someone who willingly wants to be controlled by the mind of a person who’s lived for hundreds of years, it was horrifying. 

And Bellamy couldn’t let that happen to Clarke, she was too important to him. 

She was always a person he would fight for, do anything to protect her. 

Bellamy sends him a glare, his hands gripping onto the edge of the table. 

Murphy’s mouth parts like he wants to add more, to nag at Bellamy’s impatience once again, but Emori is the one to chime in and start a conversation. She spoke softly, her serenity in tough situations is what Bellamy appreciated most about her. 

“Before we kill eachother,” She began but only looking at Murphy with narrowed eyes. “We need to figure out what we’re gonna do here, because Bellamy was right. It’s not our fault.” 

“We do nothing.” Echo spoke coldly, she stood from her chair next to Murphy. 

“ _Nothing_?” Bellamy says in shock, his gaze following her as she makes her way to lean against the bar. “Clarke is out in the forest by herself, trying to fight off Josephine’s mind drive.” He emphasized for all of them, his voice rough. “And we’re not gonna help her?” 

“It’s something out of our control, Bellamy.” Echo replied, her eyes softened when she looked at the way Bellamy’s jaw clenched. “We can’t leave Sanctum and Russel would throw all of us out if he knew that his daughter was with someone who’s been trying to kill her for decades.” 

“Maybe it’s for the better,” He mumbled. 

“You’re willing to risk your life for her?” 

He stares right at her, his throat burning with his emotions rising. “I—I _can’t_ just leave her out there.”

”What if John was right?” Echo pitched to him, not bothering to send him a second look. “We’re all safe inside and you tried your best Bellamy.” 

_You_. He had been the only one to care about what truly happened to Clarke, and even if his friends were saddened by the news of their old friend being killed at the hands of authority—they didn’t _act_. 

“My best wasn’t good enough,” Bellamy slams his hand on the table, startling all of them. “I don’t think any of you realize what’s at stake, what _really_ happens if Clarke doesn’t make it back. The primes would continue to kill innocent citizens so their bloodline could live, and then we would be the people who killed Josephine Lightbourne.” 

Bellamy could feel his heart slowly start to break. He couldn’t do this without his partner, his person, the _one_ person he’s been trying to get closer to ever since they woke up from Cryo. They were on such good terms, and when he thinks hard enough, he could still imagine her arms wrapping around his neck to pull him into a warm embrace. He could hear the sigh that passes her lips when he grips onto her tightly, like it’s what they needed to move forward. 

It was a _step_ forward. 

Murphy frowns but adds, “The people who killed the daughter of the most powerful Primes.” 

Bellamy shuts his eyes, the darkness reminding him of what he’s lost. What he doesn’t have. It’s comforting when his voice cracks in his next few words. 

He tries not to bite his tongue, silence falling upon the room. 

“The people who killed Clarke.” Bellamy feels regret, sadness, and a burden on his shoulders that hasn’t sunk in fully. 

“What do you mean, Bellamy?” It was Emori, stepping closer to him to lean forward. 

“She’s alone,” He paused. “ _God_ , she’s alone and I’m not there.” 

”Don’t feel bad—“ 

“I _promised_!” He stood abruptly and his chair skidded on the floor, the only noise that he hears. He feels numb, his fingers are aching to hold Clarke one last time before. “Now she’s gonna die and, I’m not with her when she needs me.” 

He couldn’t lose her. Not when he was so close to getting her back, not when Bellamy had been trying so incredibly hard to hold her again. It was his decision to tell Clarke to leave the cave, so that she would be safe. His intentions were pure, he wanted to see her survive and get the help she needed. So that she could get what he couldn’t give her. 

He didn’t even have to finish his sentence as Emori rubbed his back, his head down and held in his hands. He failed. 

Bellamy failed Clarke. 

The fighting with his friends, arguing about how to save a girl from a impossible situation, wishing to hold her in his arms once again...None of it mattered anymore. 

* * *

Raven and Abby return a few hours later, both have tears in their eyes when they realize that Clarke wasn’t with the others. 

“How long have you been here?” Abby held her head high, her hands shaking as she keeps her composure. Bellamy didn’t need the dim lights above their heads to point out that Abby had been distressed for long, the bags under her eyes were evident and her cheeks were stained with dry tear streaks. 

He fought himself to reach out. 

“Almost the entire morning,” He replied and thought about it again. It was difficult however, because he was _with_ Clarke last night and it makes his chest ache with an emotion he couldn’t describe. “They haven’t let anyone leave.” 

“Simone was returned to Russel when we arrived,” Raven spoke with her usual confidence, her eyes distant and focused on Abby. “Why hasn’t the lockdown been lifted?” 

Bellamy shrugs, looking around the table to see if anyone else had any other possibilities. 

Emori raised a brow, “They know that the nightblood solution is gone, and now they’re keeping a close eye on the Primes who are still alive.” 

“That would explain why they haven’t let us out of this place,” Murphy teased lightly as he gestured around the small living area. “They’re afraid we’re gonna hurt them.” 

“Do they know about Josephine?” Bellamy ignored Murphy’s comment, and looked to Raven. 

The brunette shook her head, “We had no idea that you two had run off so that Josephine could find Gabriel.” 

Abby adjusted in her seat, the nerves evident when she bits her lip. She regrets so many things, her heart torn for being so careless. “So my daughter is really taken over by one of them?” 

“Abby, I’ve been trying so hard to get her back.” Bellamy admitted. He couldn’t bring himself to say that his Clarke was dead, he couldn’t let those words pass his lips. Once he says it, then it becomes _real_. “When the lockdown lifts, I’m going into the woods myself to find her again.” 

Somehow, they always find their way back to eachother. (Before, getting ripped away from eachother’s grasp as their fate continues to be unknown) 

“I’m coming with you,” Abby states, and Bellamy couldn’t find the strength to argue. “Are you certain that Gabriel would know what to do?” 

_If he’s actually with her_. 

The confidence in Abby’s voice was enough for hope to flutter in his chest and he leans forward to rest his forearms on the table. 

“He’s the only reason why I told Clarke to leave me.” He said.

Raven included herself in the conversation and her brows furrowed together, “I know I haven’t been the best person to her, but I can’t sit here and listen to you talk about saving the girl who I _really_ don’t want to actually die.” 

Her words make the ends of Bellamy’s mouth tilt into a smile, “Okay then.” 

If Clarke was alive, it wouldn’t be long until she had help. Bellamy was counting down the seconds until he sees her again and rid her of the demons in her head. He was willing to do whatever it took to save her, his motive to fix everything in their relationship was strong. He runs a hand through his hair, unwilling to spend a second thinking about the worst. 

He was on the same planet as her. 

He was close to her, had a general idea of where she could be. 

Nothing was in his way to make sure that he could find his way back to her, without any consequences or supposed death. 

Bellamy was _here_. Waiting for the opportunity to race to her rescue. His hope rising, blooming in his chest like a rose. 

(That’s when he hears it. 

His blood runs cold. 

Everyone turns to him, as their eyes widen and his heart drops to his feet) 

“ _Russel and Simone Lightbourne? It’s been a while since I’ve made my return to Sanctum. It’s Gabriel, and I have Josephine’s mind drive in my pocket and Clarke Griffin unconscious on my bike. I’m coming to you, only because I need your help._ ”

The main radio system echoed those words, and Bellamy stood up so fast that he stumbled forward but caught himself. 

He races towards the front door, with Raven and Emori hot on his trail. 

The voice speaks again, the static crackled loudly. 

“ _I need your help, I don’t know if she’s going to make it_.” Gabriel sighs, the sound of a motor bike starting up is heard as he talks to someone else. “ _I also figured you want your daughter back_.” 

Clarke had her body back, Josephine was gone. She was coming back to Sanctum and Bellamy had his chance to see her. 

Bellamy let his eyes water, pushing past the guards outside the room and running towards the front gates. He paced back and forth, waiting for Russel to join them by the front gates. 

Raven sets a hand on his bicep, wanting to calm him down but he stops her. 

“Don’t try, Raven.” He paused, wiping at his face with no desire to be gentle. “I’m waiting right here.” 

Bellamy made a point to lock eyes with the guards outside the gates, hopefully passing on the message that he would do anything for the people he cared about. 

Clarke Griffin was at the top of that list. 


End file.
